Fall From Grace
by audreybabie
Summary: A story about Rory and her struggles as a widow and single parent. In the POV of her teenage daughter Lorelai, aka Ellie. [New Title]
1. To Shy

**Author: **Chubs

**Author's notes:** I wrote a story like this, but decided it was too complicated and to dramatic for my liking, so I decided to re-write it in to something better! Hopefully!

**Disclaimer:** I own no one but the people you haven't heard of. I think they are Lorelai III (Ellie), Pat, Emma, Sid and TJ. If your going to sue me or yell at me, please realize that I have no money, I've got a shirt on lay by that I still need to pay off.... In two days, so yeah no money and nothing else.

**Spoilers:** No spoiler's of the likes.

**Description:** The story is set in 2022, after Rory has become a journalist, and her 2nd child is about to start at Chilton.

Rory married Matthew (Matt) McKinnon the year before she gradated and had there first child, Patrick (Pat) Jonathon, then the year after Lorelai (Ellie) Eleanor, then 12 years later she had Emma Leigh, but unfortunately in 2021, the year before the story takes place, Matt dies of a brain tumour. Rory then moved back to Stars Hollow to be with her mother and Luke, for comfort and familiarity instead of the coldness and unfamiliarity of the elite and rich of Hartford.

Lorelai Eleanor, Ellie.

It came from when Pat was a young boy and couldn't say Lorelai, so he called her by her middle name Eleanor, Ella, which then lead to Ellie. Ellie also came from L from the beginning of Lorelai.

**29th August 2022**

'Mum, hurry up or else I'll be late for school!' yelled Ellie Gilmore. It was her first day at high school, she was starting at the elite and forbidding Chilton Prep; her brother Pat had started there the year before but unlike Ellie had been attending Chilton all his life, while Ellie had chosen to go to Miss Hennessy's Academy for Girls until high school.

'Coming!' yelled Rory Gilmore as she ran down the stairs putting on her heels and straighten her blouse. _She is the stunning image of me, she is the exact replica of me, nearly everything I like she likes. My baby is all grown up._ Rory's memories flashed back to her first day at Chilton, it was eventful in it's own way.

'Mum don't start crying until I'm in the gate,' Ellie said frustrated grabbing Rory's hand, 'now grab your keys and get your butt in the car, Pat and I are waiting for you.'

'Alright, alright, settle down, school doesn't start for another hour,' Rory said following her daughter out of the house and into the jeep. 'What worried your going to get a detention on your first day?' joked Rory.

'But we need to stop for coffee,' replied Ellie jumping into the jeep, 'and God now's how long that will be.'

'Right coffee, can't start the day with out coffee,' replied the tall brown haired boy in the passenger seat. He was the spitting image of his father. 'Or the world might come to an end.'

'I hope that wasn't a sarcastic comment boy,' said Ellie flicking him on the shoulder.

'No never!' Pat, Rory's only son and first child defended as they pulled in to the diner.

'Luke!! Please just one,' they heard Lorelai their grandmother begging Luke for some coffee.

'All right, only because it'll shut you up,' grumbled the crabby old man.

'You know that you love me,' she said sitting down at the table with Rory, Pat and Ellie. 'My favourite family.'

'Well you're my favourite grandmother,' said Ellie smiling and getting up. 'Luke, may I please have some coffee?'

'You're a minor, so I'm saying no,' he said walking away.

'It's not like its alcohol or anything, I'm not addicted, I don't have to have coffee, and I did say please,' she said smiling sweetly up at him.

'I'm immune to that smile; I'm married to Lorelai Gilmore, the lady that taught you that smile. If you say you can handle not having coffee, then try going one day without it. Try going one day without it and you'll get unlimited amount tomorrow,' he said smirking, knowing that Ellie couldn't handle a day without coffee.

'BUT I'M STARTING AT CHILTON TODAY NOOOO!' she screamed.

'Keep your voice down, there are people who are still asleep,' grumbled Pat from his seat.

'Oi Louis keep outta it,' she snapped back at him in an Italian accent.

'It's only one day,' Luke commented pouring coffee for Kirk.

'Your on,' she said shaking his hand. Ellie turned around to Rory's table tacking a bite of her muffin, 'come on mum we got to go or else we'll be late.'

'But we only just got here!' started Rory but stoped when she saw the look on Ellie's face. So Rory followed two of children, her pride and joy and last remaining people on earth that reminded her of her Matt, out of the Diner and into the car.

The three Gilmore's bantered all the way to school over which was worse, pop divas or fakes who thought they were rockers.

'So, please repeat to me again, why I can not drive my car to school today?' asked Pat half an hour later when the debate was finally over and they were nearing Chilton.

'Because, I want you to catch the bus home, I told you this before grasshopper,' said Rory patting his head. 'Now get out or you'll be late.'

'Bye mum have a nice day. Wish me luck,' called Ellie getting out of the car.

'You don't need it. If you need me for anything, and I mean anything just call me babe,' said Rory giving Ellie a big hug.

'Bye mum,' Ellie said after a few minutes. Ellie looked up at this big huge school and sighed. This would definitely be a day to remember.

Sure, she was looking forward to Chilton of course, but she could help but be a little scared of what was happening to her. She wasn't at Junior High any more; she was at a prep school, an elite prep school that only accepted the brightest, the richest, and the most spoilt kids in Hartford. It was one of the best schools in the country with most of it's graduates going on to a Ivy League college and attaining another wonderful degree which would make Chilton proud to claim as there own. But what if she failed? Would her mum hate her, would she be disappointed? Yes. Would she even graduate? Would she make any friends? Would she get a boyfriend? All these random thoughts kept popping up in her head while she aimlessly walked around the daunting school waiting for the bell to go, signalling the first day of her high school.

Ellie had received her homeroom and other information about her classes in the mail last week; she had gotten into all the subject's she wanted. Ellie found her locker and positioned her exercise books, and novel's and pictures purposely, and selectively in specific positions in her locker.

'Ah what a happy family,' said a cocky Pat as Ellie put a picture of the last Gilmore-McKinnon family photo on her locker door.

'Yeah remember that, that was when dad was here,' she spat angrily.

'So what he left us? He was never around any way.'

'He died, he didn't leave us,' she said as anger ignited in her small body. 'Is that what you tell people? He just up and left us?'

'No, I'm just as sad and angry and mixed up as you. I feel like a 14 year old girl.'

'Now you finally now how us girls feel,' said Ellie laughing.

_**(Ellie's point-of-view)**_

'Look, Ella, you gotta stop hating him for dieing. We new it was coming. The doctors told us, we had plenty of warning,' said Pat putting an arm around my shoulder, trying his best of comfort me.

'He could have had treatment,' I said desperately.

'And let the last couple of months of his life be like shit. Rory didn't want that. No one wanted that for dad. You just got to realize that this happened, or you wont ever get over it, we won't ever stop hurting, I won't, mum won't, you got to move on though, dad wouldn't want you to mope. He hated seeing you sad,' said Pat hugging me.

'You never cease to amaze me,' I said letting go of him.

'That's cause I'm Mr. Wonderful,' Pat said smirking.

'Get outta here,' I said pushing him away.

'Hotties at 7 o'clock,' he said huskily.

'And the hit's keep comin',' I said as the bell went.

'See you at the bus stop after school,' said Pat running after some girls.

'Sure will,' I mumbled under my breath heading off to my homeroom.

15 minutes later homeroom had finished and I was off to my first class. Calculus.

'Since this is all your very first day at Chilton, I'd like to welcome you all. And tell you some of my expectations, and the expectations not just from me but also from Chilton. You are at one of the best schools in the country and when you graduate you will have received one of the finest educations possible,' the teacher kept going for a good ten minutes, telling us what he expected and what the other teacher's would expect from us.

At the beginning of all of our classes we got the same lecture. It was like they had memorized the same speech.

Finally at 3.30 I was at the bus stop waiting in the sun on the awkward bench with Pat waiting for the bus.

'So how was your first day of school?' asked Pat uneasily. Pat and I use to be able to talk about anything, and everything, but lately it was getting harder and harder to talk to him, it was like he was changing into this person and I have no idea how to communicate to him, and I feel as though one day I'll wake up and he won't be anything like that boy I know. He'll be this guy that I grew up with, but were never really good friends.

'It was ok, we got the same lecture in every class we had today, pretty boring, main excitement of the day was when we got our events calendar,' I replied shrugging my shoulder as the bus came to a stop.

'Did you make any friends?' he asked as we got on to the bus.

'Not many, most of them went to junior school together though, so most of them have formed their cliques,' I said getting my book out. Howl it was the last book dad had bought for me, and I treasured it. I took it were ever I went in some vain attempt that maybe dad might be with me every were I go.

'I'm sure you'll be able to fine your clique.'

'Any new people in your grade?' I asked avoiding the subject altogether. I was to shy to be the girl every guy wanted. I wanted to be pushed up against a locker and told how much a guy loved me and didn't want to leave me, but I guess you can't live a Mills and Boon romance novel.

'Yeah this Christian kid, he's pretty damn cocky,' said Pat in an irritated tone.

'Worried that he'll steal your title, King of Chilton?'

'Aw were did you hear that?' asked Pat angrily.

'Some girls in the toilet, they kept saying how dreamy you were. If only they could see you when you woke up, drawl on your chin, not a pretty site.'

'Yeah, but look at the finished product,' said Pat nudging me in the ribs.

'I'd rather not thank you very much.'

'Aw come on little sister,' Pat said rubbing my back.

'Don't,' I snapped angrily.

'What's wrong?' he asked looking at me sadly.

'Nothing all right, just I didn't have a good day at school all right. It's harder than I expected it to be,' I said turning my attention to Howl.

'Come of it Ella, you've got to be the smartest kid in the Freshman year, what's really wrong, you can tell me anything,' said Pat compassionately.

'It's just- I know it's stupid but I'm just sick of being labelled "the shy girl". I want to be noticed, I want guys to look at me.'

'Guys look at you. You're the prettiest girl I've ever met. And - '

'You have to say that, you're my brother!' I said angrily.

'Trust me you haven't been labelled the shy girl. I've had to fend guys off you your whole life!' he said protectively.

'Fend off guys? No guys have ever liked me like that before.'

We argued the rest of the half an hour home. Yelling at each other until we reached Luke's.

'Your pretty!' he yelled as we entered Luke's.

'Ellie, who said that you weren't pretty?' asked Luke coming up.

'No one, I'm just saying that I'm not pretty compared to the other girls in my grade,' I said looking into Luke's strong eyes.

'You look just like Rory and Lorelai, are you saying they're not pretty?' he asked grabbing my cheek.

'No, I'm saying I'm not pretty,' I said frustrated that they wouldn't believe that I wasn't pretty.

'Ellie, your beautiful, you're a goddess, stop saying your not pretty,' said Pat hugging me. 'I don't want you saying this stuff about your self ok?'

'Ok, ' I said hugging him back and breaking the embrace, 'I think I might go and get some home work done.'

'Ok, bye kiddo,' said Pat.

'Don't work to hard,' said Luke patting my back. I felt two sets of eyes follow me out of the diner as I headed towards our house, right next to Lorelai and Luke's. Were we should have been living our whole life instead of with the elite socialite's in Hartford.

**A/N: Review... tell me what you think, is it horrible? I want to hear what you think!**


	2. Beautiful isn't good enough, anymore

A/N: Lorelai Matilda Gilmore-McKinnon, (Ellie), came to be known as Ellie, because Pat use call her just plain L, sweet and simple. She is also known as Elle (L), and Ella.  
  
I woke up the next morning at 5.30, to early to get up, but to late to go back to sleep, so I climbed out of my bed and slipped in to Rory's.  
  
'Morning babe,' she said moving over so I had enough room.  
  
'Morning mum,' I said as she draped an arm around me.  
  
'That is not the alarm, that is my imagination and I won't be woken up for another 24 hours,' said Rory as the alarm went off at 6.00.  
  
'Ditto, can we just sit in here and sleep?' I asked pulling the covers over me.  
  
'As long as no one notices us, were good,' said Rory pulling the covers over her head as well.  
  
10 minutes later I felt something tiny jump on to my back. 'Emma!' I said sighing. 'Come up here sweetie,' I said pulling my 3 year old sister up between Rory and I.  
  
'Patty said we need to get up,' said Emma in the cutest voice.  
  
'Patty said did he?' Rory said kissing Emma on the nose.  
  
'Yes, and he said that I'm a rascal and wet my bed,' said Emma giggling.  
  
'Come on little munchkin, let's get you ready for play school,' said Rory coming back to reality and getting out of bed. 'Ellie, get up,' said Rory throwing a pillow at my head.  
  
I got up out of bed and headed for the shower, letting the hot water run over my back soothing out the knots. Half an hour later Pat and I were in his car on the way to Luke's.  
  
'The shaggin wagon, back in action,' said Pat cockily as we walked back into Luke's.  
  
'Your such a sleaze bag, what do girls find so interesting in you?' I asked walking up to the counter.  
  
'No coffee!' yelled Luke shooing us away.  
  
'Uh uh, uh, remember your deal, if I could go one day without coffee I could have unlimited amount of coffee today,' I said gleefully.  
  
'I never said it!' he protested.  
  
'You did!' yelled Lorelai in my support.  
  
'Your lying, your untrustworthy, you just want coffee,' he said accusingly wiping down a table.  
  
'You did hunny,' said Babette from her and Mory's table.  
  
'Fine then,' he said pouring me a coffee in the biggest cup he owned. I squealed with delight as the soothingly hot concoction slid down the back of my throat.  
  
'Ahh,' I said breathing in the aroma of coffee.  
  
'What else can I get you?' asked Luke five minutes later.  
  
'A chocolate muffin and curly fries,' I said gleefully.  
  
'A strawberry muffin and eggs to go,' he said writing it down on his pad and leaving.  
  
15 minute later I had finished my plate of eggs and was finishing the last of my strawberry muffin.  
  
'Come on Ella, time to go,' said Pat moving towards the door.  
  
'No, I need more coffee!' I said not moving from my spot at the counter.  
  
'Luke, two unstable wretches need more coffee!' yelled Pat.  
  
'That's not very nice Louis,' I said referring to his nickname.  
  
'Come on Ella,' he said anxiously.  
  
'Here you go Ellie,' said Luke placing three full steaming coffees to go in front of me.  
  
'Thanks Luke,' I said jumping up and kissing Lorelai on the cheek, and heading out the door of the diner.  
  
'Finally,' said Pat as I jumped in her started the car, speeding out of town. 20 minutes later, and 5 near death experiences we were at school.  
  
'Fuck, next time I'm driving, you're the worse driver I've ever meet,' I said angrily.  
  
'No, your not old enough yet cutie,' he said patting my head.  
  
'Bastard,' I said grabbing my bag and walking in the opposite direction.  
  
The rest of the day went by slowly, besides a hiccup in US History and then slowing down to a full halt in English Lit.  
  
'I reckon I could get her by the end of next week,' I heard a boy whisper.  
  
'I reckon I could get her by Friday night at Thomo's party,' he said cockily.  
  
'Nah she's mine boys,' said an even cockier voice.  
  
'Oi Mary,' said the 2nd boy pulling at my hair.  
  
'Yes Joseph?' I said referring to Joseph the Baptist.  
  
'Ouch,' I heard the third boy reply.  
  
'This ain't no Mary,' said Joseph laughing.  
  
'No, but I wouldn't let you 'bed' me any day of the week boys,' I said as the bell went.  
  
'It's not our fault if you can't resist our charms sweetie,' Joseph said cockily.  
  
'No that's right and it's not your fault you have a dick the size of a pea,' I said sincerely.  
  
'How would you know babe, you haven't seen anything, yet,' he said moving closer to me.  
  
'I know, but how would you know that I'm a 'Mary'?' I asked moving even closer towards him, tugging at his belt.  
  
'I guess we'll find out at Jono's party tonight, that's if you turn up,' said the third boy.  
  
'I'll be there,' I said leaving the room. I could finally act differently around the boys, not the shy girl from Stars Hollow.  
  
I grabbed the books I needed out of my locker and headed towards Pat's car.  
  
'Hey Ella,' Pat said I got into the car.  
  
'Hey, how was you day?' I asked sitting down and putting on my seat belt.  
  
'Not to bad, I heard about your little escapade in US History,' he said laughing.  
  
'What? The teacher was telling me I was ignorant!' I said in my defence.  
  
'Who was it?'  
  
'Mr Brampton,' I said laughing, remembering how he told me that I was ignorant little brat.  
  
'You little rebel you,' Pat said. The conversation lapsed into silence until we were 5 minutes from home.  
  
'I've been invited to Jono's party tonight,' I said quickly.  
  
'Me to,' Pat said, 'are you going?'  
  
'Only if you're going,' I said looking into his eyes.  
  
'Yeah I'm going, what's a party without its king?' asked Pat cockily.  
  
'Not a party,' I said getting out of the car and going in to Luke's.  
  
'Ella!' said Emma jumping in my arms.  
  
'Hey my children!' yelled Rory giving me a hug. 'How was your day?'  
  
'Mary-like,' I said laughing.  
  
'Pardon?' asked Lorelai as Pat and I sat down at our table.  
  
'These guy's are calling me Mary,' I said sculling down my steaming hot coffee. 'Another one here Luke!'  
  
'Why?' asked Emma.  
  
'Because she looks innocent and shy,' said Pat, lifting her up on to his lap.  
  
'I don't look innocent or shy do I?' I asked surprised.  
  
'After US history I'm surprised anyone thought you were shy,' said Pat laughing.  
  
'What did you do in US History my child?' asked Rory.  
  
'Nothing, it's just the teacher called me ignorant because I was arguing with him over something, and I said that he had no right to call me that, and we got into a bit of a verbal fight but we talked it over after class and he said he liked my spirit, passion and fire,' I said quickly, not breathing.  
  
'Alright, and breathe,' said Luke coming over and pouring us some more coffee.  
  
'Why I'm fine? I can go for 5 minutes with a few breathes every couple of seconds and not pass out,' I said smiling.  
  
'That's my girl,' said Lorelai, proudly.  
  
'So you guys got any plans tonight?' asked Rory.  
  
'Well,' I started but was interrupted by Pat.  
  
'Jono has a thing planned tonight,' he said finishing his softie. 'Little Lorelai here has got her first invite to a sophomore party.'  
  
'How did u manage that?' asked Lorelai impressed.  
  
'There is three sophomore's in my English Lit. class and we got talking and I was invited,' I said looking down at the table.  
  
'Told you we'd have to fight the guys off this girl,' said Pat to Luke.  
  
We sat in Luke's talking for another hour, drinking as much coffee as possible just to spite Luke.  
  
'Emma, it looks like it's just you and me for the night,' said Rory as Pat and I headed for our rooms to do our homework and get ready for the party.  
  
Review! Review! Tell me what you think? Should I continue or is it tragic? I don't want the story to sound like too much like Rory's time at Chilton, or other stories, but it's kinda hard... lol. So tell me what you think, should I continue?  
  
Cheers Bec  
  
p.s Softie means softdrink... I'm from Australia so I don't know what you call them, I think it's soda... Not sure. 


	3. No Mary lives here

Pat and I arrived at the party at 7.30, just as everyone else started arriving. Rory had driven us in, and said that Luke would pick us up at 1.30.  
  
I didn't really know what you wore to parties, so after an hour of consideration, Rory and I choose a pair of hip hugger jeans and a green boob tube that finished just past my hips with a big thick elastic band at that made it cling to my hips.  
  
As Pat and I walked in I noticed some girls point to me, and smile. I smiled back at them and walked over towards them.  
  
'Hey, I'm Ellie,' I said as I neared them.  
  
'I'm Jamie, and this is Kristi, Jess, and Tessa,' said a pretty blonde haired girl. The girls said there hello's and Kristi quickly said, 'how do you know Pat Gilmore?'  
  
'He's my brother,' I said laughing, at there eagerness.  
  
'Really, you don't really look alike,' said Kristi. 'I thought you might have been going out or something.'  
  
'Yeah, we get that,' I said smiling. After 10 minutes of chatting with the girls their boyfriends came up and they left for the make shift dance floor. I walked over towards the punch bowl and sculled down a glass of it not realising that there was a huge amount of vodka mixed in, until three glasses later when I started to loosen up a bit.  
  
'Hey baby,' said the Joseph from earlier today. He was quiet good looking, fairly tall for a 9th grader and had gorgeous blonde hair and hazel eyes.  
  
'Hey,' I said smiling up at him. 'I'm Ellie.'  
  
'Michael,' he said looking down at me. 'You want to dance?' he asked grabbing my hand. I nodded and followed him towards the dance floor. After half an hour of dancing quiet closely, we headed to get a drink.  
  
'Here you go,' said Michael getting him and I a beer, and two to go.  
  
'Thanks,' I said taking a sip and following him out side. I saw Pat making out with some random chick on the porch and I quickly grabbed Michael's hand and made for a secluded part of the yard. Not like a secluded part was hard to find, it was a massive yard it was nearly as big as an oval.  
  
'I didn't know you were that eager to be alone with me,' he said as we sat down on the grass and kissed me. I kissed him back, taking in his beer and smoky breath. We sat there making out for 20 minutes, until my back hurt from being pushed up against the tree and my breasts were swollen from all the groping.  
  
I sculled down the rest of my beer and got up wanting another one.  
  
'Babe, come back,' he said pulling at my hand. For a minute I wanted to say that my name was Ellie and slap him on the head, but then the beer took over so I sat back down and we started making out again. I knew that I didn't want to be shy any more, but I didn't want to be slutty either.  
  
'What's wrong?' he asked drunkenly as I pulled away and got up.  
  
'I need another beer,' I said as he mumbled something about another one for him as well. I found Pat in the same spot, talking to his flavour or make out chick.  
  
'Ella?' he asked grabbing hold of my hand. I wasn't drunk any more, thank god. I was a little tipsy but good enough not to do or say anything stupid.  
  
'Hey, Pat,' I said sitting down.  
  
'You been drinking?' he asked suspiciously.  
  
'Yes, and that's not all that I've been doing,' I said cheekily, yeah after all I think I'm a little bit more than a tiny tipsy.  
  
'You're an idiot,' he said half-heartedly grabbing hold of my hand.  
  
'Who's this?' asked the girl that had been clinging to Pat.  
  
'I'm Ella, Pat's sister,' I said putting my hand out for her to shake, but she just looked at it. 'Yeah, nice to meet you,' I said getting up for another drink. As I headed in to the house, the smell of smoke and pot engulfed me. I quickly grabbed two beers and headed back for Michael, not wanting to stay inside.  
  
'Your back,' he said dragging on a cigarette.  
  
'Here,' I said passing him a beer, and grabbing his smoke, inhaling, trying not to cough and look immature.  
  
'Thanks,' he said taking off the top and gulping down some of his beer. 'So you're not much of a Mary are you?' he asked suddenly.  
  
'How did you guess?' I asked drunkenly.  
  
'Making out with a guy you don't really know,' he said looking into my eyes. 'You have really pretty eyes,' he said moving into kiss me again. But this time it was different, I felt like I had to live up to what he was saying, that indeed I was no Mary. 


	4. What Jerry Lee Lewis isn’t good enough?

Title: Jerry Lee Lewis isn't good enough.  
  
I woke up the next morning at 11.30, with my first hang over and what a great feeling it was. As I got up I felt an uprising rush to my mouth and I quickly ran over to my toilet, vomiting.  
  
'Don't feel to good party animal?' asked Rory coming in and handing me an Advil and coffee.  
  
'No, not really,' I said swallowing the Advil, 'I feel horrible.'  
  
'Can you remember anything from last night?' asked Rory patting my head.  
  
'Yeah most of it,' I said thinking back and remembering most of the night, 'Mum I need like 10 more hours of sleep, do you think you could give me at least 5?'  
  
She nodded her head and I climbed back in to my bed, Rory looked down at me, and whispered just loud enough for me to hear, 'baby don't hurt your self.'  
  
'I love you mum,' I said moving over hoping that she climb into my bed and cuddle me, just like she does with Emma. I felt her slide in bed with me and put an arm around me.  
  
Rory and I woke up 2 hours later at 1.30, partly because Emma had started jumping on us, and because we had barely any coffee in our system.  
  
'To Luke's,' yelled Rory as we walked down the stairs.  
  
'Shh, some people have a bit of a headache,' I said as we headed out the door, leaving Pat to his own devices.  
  
'Your fault missy,' Rory said as we drove off to Luke's. I sat in silence, listening to Emma talk to Rory about how Robbie, her little play school friend got a new Barbie doll.  
  
'Luke can I please have three big huge cups of coffee?' I asked as we entered the diner.  
  
'Here,' he said placing two big cups in front of me, one for mum. 'Munchkin!' he yelled giving Emma a hug.  
  
'Lukey!' she said kissing his cheek and taking off his cap and putting it on her head.  
  
'Hey Lorelai,' I said turning my attention away from Emma and towards my grandmother.  
  
'You look like crap,' she said smiling, just as my phone vibrated. A message, it was from Michael from last night, 'hey babe its michael how u feelin? I had a good time last nite'.  
  
'You look good to Lorelai,' I said gulping down my coffee, writing a text back to Michael, 'hey Michael massive headache just like any normal Sunday morning, I had a good time as well, luv Ellie'.  
  
'What did you get up to last night?' she asked winking.  
  
'Not much.'  
  
'That you can remember,' she said laughing at her own joke.  
  
'Funny James Dean,' I said smiling.  
  
'Yay, I'm James Dean, Rory!' she said excitedly.  
  
'Who am I?' asked Rory just as excited.  
  
'Jerry Lee Lewis,' I said rolling my eyes.  
  
'Her names longer than mine, not fair,' said Lorelai pouting.  
  
'Fine then, your Baby Spice,' I said fixing the problem.  
  
'How come she gets to be Baby Spice?' asked Rory upset.  
  
'What Jerry Lee Lewis isn't good enough?' Rory shook her head, 'Fine then your Posh Spice,' I said sighing hoping that I'd finally fixed the problem.  
  
'Yay,' said Lorelai and Rory excitedly, turning to each other and bursting out in Tell Me What You Want.  
  
'I have the best idea ever!' said Lorelai as we were sitting and eating our lunch.  
  
'What?' Rory and I asked at the same time.  
  
'Movie night! We haven't had one in so long. It can be just us girls. Pat can shove off to our place –'  
  
'Or some girls place.'  
  
'And us 4 girls can have a movie night,' said Lorelai excitedly.  
  
'With Willy Wonker?' I asked. I had inherited Rory's love for the oompa loopma's. 'And spice world?'  
  
'It's not a movie night with out it,' said Rory smiling brightly.  
  
I noticed that Rory hadn't been happy, truly happy in some months now, perhaps because she lost her man in shining armour.  
  
I mean I haven't been happy either, but Rory, I hate seeing her like this. I hate seeing her looking so sad, because I knew that for 14 years she was the happiest person on this earth. Now she was one of the loneliest people on the earth.  
  
'I think I'm going to walk home,' I said getting up, waiting for their acceptance.  
  
'I'll see you at home babe, anything you want in the junk food department?' asked Rory.  
  
'Just as much food as you can fit into that jeep of ours,' I said smiling.  
  
As I walked home, all I could think about was dad and mum and about our family, and the way it use to be. Dad died of a brain tumour on June 29th last year. I miss him, I hated him for leaving us all alone, but I hated him even more for not being here seeing Emma grow up into a wonderful girl, but I love him for being my father.  
  
I've only just come to terms with his death in the last couple of months. I was confused and scared that I might find someone to replace him and I'd forget everything about him. Then I realised that, that wasn't possible. I could never forget anything about him; he has such a presence in my life. Every were I go, he's there, not in spirit, but just everything reminds me of him. I remember his smell and aura.  
  
'Hello?' I said as I entered the house, 'any whores here?'  
  
'None at the moment, come back in five minutes and there should be a house full,' joked Pat.  
  
'Hey,' I said flopping on his bed.  
  
'Hey, how you feeling?' he asked turning down his music.  
  
'Not to bad,' I said smiling. 'How was last night?'  
  
'Not to bad,' he said laughing. 'What about you? I remember walking in on you making out with some poor sophomore.'  
  
I looked at him horrified but cracked up at the look on his face.  
  
'What?' he asked confused.  
  
'Nothing,' I said trying to keep my laughter under control. 'It's just that you were in big brother mode and you haven't been in that mode for such a long time, it kinda made me laugh.'  
  
'Who is he?' he asked sternly.  
  
'Just a guy from school,' I said getting up.  
  
'There the worse sort,' yelled Pat as I exited his room and left for mine.  
  
I walked into my room and turned on my radio, turning it up loud enough to block out Pat's music.  
  
When you feel all alone  
  
And the world has turned its back on you  
  
Give me a moment please to tame your wild, wild heart  
  
I know you feel like the walls are closing in on you  
  
It's hard to find relief and people can be so cold  
  
When darkness is upon your door and you feel like you can't take anymore  
  
Let me be the one you call  
  
If you jump I'll break your fall  
  
Lift you up and fly away with you into the night  
  
If you need to fall apart  
  
I can mend a broken heart  
  
If you need to crash then crash and burn  
  
You're not alone  
  
When you feel all alone  
  
And a loyal friend is hard to find  
  
You're caught in a one way street  
  
With the monsters in your head  
  
When hopes and dreams are far away and  
  
You feel like you can't face the day  
  
Let me be the one you call  
  
If you jump I'll break your fall  
  
Lift you up and fly away with you into the night  
  
If you need to fall apart  
  
I can mend a broken heart  
  
If you need to crash then crash and burn  
  
You're not alone  
  
And there has always been heartache and pain  
  
And when it's over you'll breathe again  
  
You'll breath again  
  
When you feel all alone  
  
And the world has turned its back on you  
  
Give me a moment please  
  
To tame your wild, wild heart  
  
Let me be the one you call  
  
If you jump I'll break your fall  
  
Lift you up and fly away with you into the night  
  
If you need to fall apart  
  
I can mend a broken heart  
  
If you need to crash then crash and burn  
  
You're not alone  
  
A tear slid down my cheek. I walked down to Pat's room he was sitting on his bed reading.  
  
'Ella, what's wrong?' he asked giving me a hug.  
  
'Nothing I just need a hug,' I said hugging him back. 'It's so stupid, I just heard a song, I don't even know why but it made me so sad.'  
  
'Don't worry,' he said placing his chin on top of my head. 'I get like that to. It'll go away.'  
  
'I don't want to stop hurting. Or else I might forget him.'  
  
'You won't ever forget him,' said Pat hugging me tighter.  
  
'How come it's been a year and I still miss him?' I asked referring to the death of our dad.  
  
'Because he's our dad,' Pat said stroking my back.  
  
I hate Pat, I hate how he looks exactly like dad, I hate how he acts just like dad, and I hate how everything he does reminds me of dad. I hate how I don't hate Pat, I hate that I love Pat so much that I can't hate him, not even when we fight. But most of all I hate how Pat smells just like dad, and one day I hate that I might lost him, just like I lost dad. 


End file.
